Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Deep Thinking
I Believe Bangkok is really the place where my mind can naturally think and asking question about life. In the place where freedom is relative you cant help to start questioning several ideas about things...i will start to write it down....
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Pornography Chapter 1
This one of the most toughest topic i ever can write. I affect me, and i know it affect thousands2 of man and woman out there. People talk and discuss regarding this topic. Politician, Theologian, Sociologist, Psychologist, to McDonald Cashier, Students, and all strata of people at least once heard the name or exposed to pornography.
What so amazing about it?
However personally speaking, i want to make my own reflection. Its not trying to define or giving a new insight about what it is and how it affect people. Its just a simple honesty on how pornography has affected my own life.
Pornography is simply fantasy, half truth - half reality. To begin with, Sex is a gift of the Divine for us to be joined in an intimate relationship with our most beloved one. It was always secured in the barrier called Marriage.
Pornography basically take away the sacred band and release the ultimate power of sex in total "freedom" and allow people to fantasize and explore the ultimate pleasure of sex without boundary. However, the trick of pornography its only stimulate certain aspect of the senses. Its never perfect and that is where the "half" part comes in. Pornography never fulfilling the satisfaction of sex ever. Whether by audio-visual stimulation such as porn movie, simple visual stimulation such as porn picture, to more advance form of pornography such as - virtual sex or interactive girl. There is never a complete fulfillment of pornography. The person who consume this material need to find their own way to compensate with the stimulation that they receive. Not like in husband - wife sexual relationship where the stimuli is their partner, and the channel of fulfillment is sexual intercourse, pornography left the consumer without any partner and person to satisfy their personal excitement.
Pornography also about power, where you can exercise your entire freedom of fantasy and control of your sexual urges. Often pictured in the movie, the girl is always submitting and seems to enjoy sex even into the extreme. Sex is the only aspect that seems to matter in the life of a woman.
You wont find any porn movie that will depict that the woman refuse to having the intercourse with the man because she is just so tired from working the whole day in the office. You wont find any porn movie that will depict an interrupted intercourse because of the crying baby in the other room, you wont find any porn movie that will depict that sometimes sex doesn't happen simply because of the morning fight between the couple due to the burnt pants on the top of the ironing board or the unthrown garbage bin. Absolutely no!
In pornography sex seems to show the unrealistic view of life and the fantasy that will never have any end. People will feel satisfied and somehow relieve by watching porn movie because its release them for their own personal tension and expectation that might no be fulfilled in real life. After all, every human need channel to release. Some by eating, some by smoking, some by using drugs, and some other by watching pornography.
The woman will always be pretty and good looking in which not every man will ever get that kind of woman in their life. Another fantasy that often lure many man and also woman into the unrealistic world.
Now there is one bad side of unrealistic things in life, it is simply addictive. Fantasy is boundless and as you notice the growth of modern pornography into more "hardcore" its worrying since it seems we will never win against the power of fantasy. I am just hoping that rape, unwanted pregnancy, and other criminal sex offenses will not also grow into more "hardcore" way.
This is the sad fact yet this is the truth. However there is always hope when we look for an answer not from within but from the Divine once again. He who has give sex to begin with knows the right and true solution for all of us who are struggling with it.
What so amazing about it?
However personally speaking, i want to make my own reflection. Its not trying to define or giving a new insight about what it is and how it affect people. Its just a simple honesty on how pornography has affected my own life.
Pornography is simply fantasy, half truth - half reality. To begin with, Sex is a gift of the Divine for us to be joined in an intimate relationship with our most beloved one. It was always secured in the barrier called Marriage.
Pornography basically take away the sacred band and release the ultimate power of sex in total "freedom" and allow people to fantasize and explore the ultimate pleasure of sex without boundary. However, the trick of pornography its only stimulate certain aspect of the senses. Its never perfect and that is where the "half" part comes in. Pornography never fulfilling the satisfaction of sex ever. Whether by audio-visual stimulation such as porn movie, simple visual stimulation such as porn picture, to more advance form of pornography such as - virtual sex or interactive girl. There is never a complete fulfillment of pornography. The person who consume this material need to find their own way to compensate with the stimulation that they receive. Not like in husband - wife sexual relationship where the stimuli is their partner, and the channel of fulfillment is sexual intercourse, pornography left the consumer without any partner and person to satisfy their personal excitement.
Pornography also about power, where you can exercise your entire freedom of fantasy and control of your sexual urges. Often pictured in the movie, the girl is always submitting and seems to enjoy sex even into the extreme. Sex is the only aspect that seems to matter in the life of a woman.
You wont find any porn movie that will depict that the woman refuse to having the intercourse with the man because she is just so tired from working the whole day in the office. You wont find any porn movie that will depict an interrupted intercourse because of the crying baby in the other room, you wont find any porn movie that will depict that sometimes sex doesn't happen simply because of the morning fight between the couple due to the burnt pants on the top of the ironing board or the unthrown garbage bin. Absolutely no!
In pornography sex seems to show the unrealistic view of life and the fantasy that will never have any end. People will feel satisfied and somehow relieve by watching porn movie because its release them for their own personal tension and expectation that might no be fulfilled in real life. After all, every human need channel to release. Some by eating, some by smoking, some by using drugs, and some other by watching pornography.
The woman will always be pretty and good looking in which not every man will ever get that kind of woman in their life. Another fantasy that often lure many man and also woman into the unrealistic world.
Now there is one bad side of unrealistic things in life, it is simply addictive. Fantasy is boundless and as you notice the growth of modern pornography into more "hardcore" its worrying since it seems we will never win against the power of fantasy. I am just hoping that rape, unwanted pregnancy, and other criminal sex offenses will not also grow into more "hardcore" way.
This is the sad fact yet this is the truth. However there is always hope when we look for an answer not from within but from the Divine once again. He who has give sex to begin with knows the right and true solution for all of us who are struggling with it.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
We are living in the world where morality seems to be relative. It based on what people see and often on what people wants. The reason i think this way is simply because i am looking at the life that i live today. Where it is hard, and very hard to stay simple and living into the value that you uphold everyday. When you are struggling with certain aspect of life that requires a high measurement of ethical consideration other people just do it on a regular basis without feeling any guilt at all. Sometimes you asked yourselves whether you are too fanatic with what you believe, or the world out there is just too immoral.
But then comes the judgment, when you say people out there is just too sinful they will judge as "Pharisees" "Fanatic" "Unloving" etc, etc.
So that is the reason why i believe morality is relative, since no one has the exact measurement of it.
But is it so? Different people has different measurement of morality, different religion has different measurement of morality? Is that true?
Somehow it is difficult to think likewise because deep inside our soul i believe we all know the reality of right and wrong.
Or it is simply because the ultimate judge - GOD is silent about all of this? That will lead us into a new discussion by itself.
Its just hard to be human and on the same time was constricted to a law made by an invisible being. That is why many are looking for option to leave this invisible being away, and live out life the way they like because its just doesnt make any sense.
Small example:
A: I feel guilty of eating meat this morning.
B: Who told you that it is wrong to eat meat?
A: God!
B: Where is he? Does he ever told you personally? Does he ever punish you right away from eating meat?
Sighhhhhh...........
But then comes the judgment, when you say people out there is just too sinful they will judge as "Pharisees" "Fanatic" "Unloving" etc, etc.
So that is the reason why i believe morality is relative, since no one has the exact measurement of it.
But is it so? Different people has different measurement of morality, different religion has different measurement of morality? Is that true?
Somehow it is difficult to think likewise because deep inside our soul i believe we all know the reality of right and wrong.
Or it is simply because the ultimate judge - GOD is silent about all of this? That will lead us into a new discussion by itself.
Its just hard to be human and on the same time was constricted to a law made by an invisible being. That is why many are looking for option to leave this invisible being away, and live out life the way they like because its just doesnt make any sense.
Small example:
A: I feel guilty of eating meat this morning.
B: Who told you that it is wrong to eat meat?
A: God!
B: Where is he? Does he ever told you personally? Does he ever punish you right away from eating meat?
Sighhhhhh...........
Friday, June 19, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Quote of the Day
Books is the key of knowledge at the door of power and prosperity. To gain power, someone must read
The Answer for Pain
The most tiring job to do in this world is waiting. Waiting does not cost a lot of energy (most of the times), it often happen in most comforting way (in air con room, with TV and Stereo Set), but yet a lot of people hate to wait.
I am still waiting for that happy day when waiting is over, when pain is over, when heartache is over, and behold my King on His throne. My Lord come now for i am weary and heavy laden.
I am still waiting for that happy day when waiting is over, when pain is over, when heartache is over, and behold my King on His throne. My Lord come now for i am weary and heavy laden.
Rethoric God
It is interesting to find that God has provided laugh when all i have is tears, he has provide me friend when all i have is loneliness, he has provided me with hands when all is eyes, but the best of all he has provided me with love and forgiveness when all i have is mistake.
The Problem of The Sick
The Problem of the Sick is not only limited to physical pain but rather a feeling of insecurity. What this pain will bring to me?", Pain will always be part of humanity, and it will stay here as long as God does not renew our world trough the third coming of Jesus.
What Christian minister can give to them? I believe what minister can bring is no other than assurance. As Jesus walk with us on our ministry, a Christian Minister must be the place where his flock can come and find rest.
Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my Shepherd, i have nothing to worry about"
What Christian minister can give to them? I believe what minister can bring is no other than assurance. As Jesus walk with us on our ministry, a Christian Minister must be the place where his flock can come and find rest.
Psalm 23:1 "The Lord is my Shepherd, i have nothing to worry about"
Thursday, May 21, 2009
ADHD
Deep within our soul there is hunger that cannot be fulfilled with anything but love. We might think money, fame, and prestige will fill it up but yet none prevail. I have come to that reality more than once, and i found the truth that will always be true.
Everywhere we go we will encounter the hard, painful truth of humanity. Selfishness, greediness, lust, politics, all the dirt that often drives conflict and pain.
It almost convince me that probably it is true we are all hungry for power, for gain, for self.
But now and then suddenly i met people who somehow living beyond that box of humanity, that box of lust, that box of selfishness.
I met a boy who cannot be controlled and hyperactive. Psychiatric result has confirmed he suffer from ADD. Last week he just vandalize one of the chair of the Deaf Society of Singapore while we visit that place. I was pity for him, for the Deaf Society, and also for the coordinator of this visit who with all her strength try to be normal even though her face is simply just flew to the moon (Asian and Chinese in particular is really concern about being embarrassed in public)
Who to blame? is the simple question for this experience. We scold this boy and he was not happy about it. He cries, throwing the pencil and books to the Deaf instructor, and the program end dramatically embarrassing. Through his eyes i can see anger and hatred that seems will never end.
But then in the same afternoon after we reach the church again, there he is greets me again and says," Hi Pastor how are you! " As if there is nothing happen. He smile back and like usual...back to his old hyperactive mode.
I can easily scold him and the cycle will repeat but then i realize that his heart is simple pure of joy and love that all his destructive behaviour is just part of who he is.
I learn how to forgive and forget completely from this boy.
Yet another truth was born in that Deaf Society Meeting
The greatest song you hear is the song composed by a deaf ear
The greatest paintings you will ever see is the picture painted by a blind person
The greatest praise you ever get i out from a mute mouth
The greatest touch you can ever receive is from those who suffer from leprosy, or any other skin disease...
The greatest forgiveness i ever experience is from an invisible being who claim himself as God
give it not from what they have but from what they dont...but yet they still give it because all of us has heart...
For it is in your weakness that He is strong
Everywhere we go we will encounter the hard, painful truth of humanity. Selfishness, greediness, lust, politics, all the dirt that often drives conflict and pain.
It almost convince me that probably it is true we are all hungry for power, for gain, for self.
But now and then suddenly i met people who somehow living beyond that box of humanity, that box of lust, that box of selfishness.
I met a boy who cannot be controlled and hyperactive. Psychiatric result has confirmed he suffer from ADD. Last week he just vandalize one of the chair of the Deaf Society of Singapore while we visit that place. I was pity for him, for the Deaf Society, and also for the coordinator of this visit who with all her strength try to be normal even though her face is simply just flew to the moon (Asian and Chinese in particular is really concern about being embarrassed in public)
Who to blame? is the simple question for this experience. We scold this boy and he was not happy about it. He cries, throwing the pencil and books to the Deaf instructor, and the program end dramatically embarrassing. Through his eyes i can see anger and hatred that seems will never end.
But then in the same afternoon after we reach the church again, there he is greets me again and says," Hi Pastor how are you! " As if there is nothing happen. He smile back and like usual...back to his old hyperactive mode.
I can easily scold him and the cycle will repeat but then i realize that his heart is simple pure of joy and love that all his destructive behaviour is just part of who he is.
I learn how to forgive and forget completely from this boy.
Yet another truth was born in that Deaf Society Meeting
The greatest song you hear is the song composed by a deaf ear
The greatest paintings you will ever see is the picture painted by a blind person
The greatest praise you ever get i out from a mute mouth
The greatest touch you can ever receive is from those who suffer from leprosy, or any other skin disease...
The greatest forgiveness i ever experience is from an invisible being who claim himself as God
give it not from what they have but from what they dont...but yet they still give it because all of us has heart...
For it is in your weakness that He is strong
Friday, April 10, 2009
A Day of God's Hitman
8.30 - Rush with the breakfast (just grab anything on the table, in my case four wholemeal bread topped with sugar bonbon)
9.00 - Punching the lift door like crazy while carrying 5 Kg of Laptop, bible, notes, books, and water bottle on my backpack
9.05 - arrive at the first floor, rushing to the nearest bus stop to wait for the bus no.52 to arrive. The nearest bus stop is around 500 Meter from my apartment
9.06 - Realize there is not way and no time i can reach the bus stop. Immediately stop a taxi that somehow was there
9.20 - Arrived at destination, no cash in the pocket paying the taxi with credit card. The machine didnt work. Rushing to the nearby ATM while the taxi driver was waiting.
9.30 - Arrived at meeting place on time
11.48 - receive call during meeting, hospital visitation arrangement. Jolted in the schedule book
12.30 - The meeting finally finish. Rush for lunch
13.00 - Eating lunch at nearby Adventist school, gulping whatever the small shop provide. Ending up eating ketchup with pasta ( and not pasta with ketchup)
13.01 - while eating, surrounded by kids who greets cheerfully. Smile back and greet them, asking how is their study and do they eat their lunch already
13.20 - arrived at the nearby MRT station, going to a Bible study
13.59 - Realized that been riding the wrong bus and immediately go down to search how to get to the house from there
14.10 - SMSing the bible student, apologizing for coming late while on the same time walking under hot sun looking for the house.
14.45 - arrived at the student house, drenched with sweat and still carrying the backpack. start the Bible Study
14.50 - Start to teach bible, telling how good God is, and what is the purpose of Jesus death on the cross. Saying God is love in almost all sentence.
15.30 - Finish the study, saying good bye and waiting for the bus
16.15 - arrived at the MRT tunnel, met a person giving fliers and pamphlet of an evangelistic meeting called "Hope For Singapore". The testimony written on the paper was "Miracle does exist, as long as you believe Thousands has been healed! Join us in this.......(area) to receive miracles of healing from Jesus!" take the paper while keep walking
16.30 - Arrived at the hospital, oncology dept. Visit a cancer patient who is dying from a rare kind of cancer. A middle aged man, just reach his 40's. Cannot speak anymore other than saying "pain, pain, i cannot hold it anymore" Wife beside him just keep crying and ask me to pray.
16.45 - Praying for the patient while listening to the sob of the wife, smile a little bit and let the man sleep. Leaving the bedroom.
16.55 - Looking for way and direction from hospital to another bible study with at 9 years old girl. Never goes this way before
17.20 - Got lost again, and looking for way to get to the house
17.25 - go down to the nearest bus stop that reach the house, its around 1 KM from the bus stop. Rain heavily, running under the rain. Still with backpack.
17.40 - met my wife, and walk together to the student house.
17.45 - teach the girl with cheer and smile, saying God is love and he wants us to love Him too
18.80 - leave the house with smile and ride the bus to home
19.30 - Arrived at the nearest bus station to home, having dinner with wife.
20.00 - walk to the nearest supermarket buying groceries.
21.00 - Arrived home, taking shower immediately. The clothes was the mix of sweat, rain, dust, and maybe some microbes from hospital.
21.15 - Turn on laptop, answering email from church member saying they were inspired by the testimony. Replying back, saying God bless.
21.30 - Talk with wife about what happen today and listen to her complain and experience of the day as well.
They said, life of a pastor is easy but it was not as easy as people thought. Often you need to put your feeling and emotion on the right time at the right place. Its tough to talk with a dying cancer patient, when the next hour you must smile and cheerfully greet a small girl for her bible study.
That is my life, that is the life of God's Hitman
9.00 - Punching the lift door like crazy while carrying 5 Kg of Laptop, bible, notes, books, and water bottle on my backpack
9.05 - arrive at the first floor, rushing to the nearest bus stop to wait for the bus no.52 to arrive. The nearest bus stop is around 500 Meter from my apartment
9.06 - Realize there is not way and no time i can reach the bus stop. Immediately stop a taxi that somehow was there
9.20 - Arrived at destination, no cash in the pocket paying the taxi with credit card. The machine didnt work. Rushing to the nearby ATM while the taxi driver was waiting.
9.30 - Arrived at meeting place on time
11.48 - receive call during meeting, hospital visitation arrangement. Jolted in the schedule book
12.30 - The meeting finally finish. Rush for lunch
13.00 - Eating lunch at nearby Adventist school, gulping whatever the small shop provide. Ending up eating ketchup with pasta ( and not pasta with ketchup)
13.01 - while eating, surrounded by kids who greets cheerfully. Smile back and greet them, asking how is their study and do they eat their lunch already
13.20 - arrived at the nearby MRT station, going to a Bible study
13.59 - Realized that been riding the wrong bus and immediately go down to search how to get to the house from there
14.10 - SMSing the bible student, apologizing for coming late while on the same time walking under hot sun looking for the house.
14.45 - arrived at the student house, drenched with sweat and still carrying the backpack. start the Bible Study
14.50 - Start to teach bible, telling how good God is, and what is the purpose of Jesus death on the cross. Saying God is love in almost all sentence.
15.30 - Finish the study, saying good bye and waiting for the bus
16.15 - arrived at the MRT tunnel, met a person giving fliers and pamphlet of an evangelistic meeting called "Hope For Singapore". The testimony written on the paper was "Miracle does exist, as long as you believe Thousands has been healed! Join us in this.......(area) to receive miracles of healing from Jesus!" take the paper while keep walking
16.30 - Arrived at the hospital, oncology dept. Visit a cancer patient who is dying from a rare kind of cancer. A middle aged man, just reach his 40's. Cannot speak anymore other than saying "pain, pain, i cannot hold it anymore" Wife beside him just keep crying and ask me to pray.
16.45 - Praying for the patient while listening to the sob of the wife, smile a little bit and let the man sleep. Leaving the bedroom.
16.55 - Looking for way and direction from hospital to another bible study with at 9 years old girl. Never goes this way before
17.20 - Got lost again, and looking for way to get to the house
17.25 - go down to the nearest bus stop that reach the house, its around 1 KM from the bus stop. Rain heavily, running under the rain. Still with backpack.
17.40 - met my wife, and walk together to the student house.
17.45 - teach the girl with cheer and smile, saying God is love and he wants us to love Him too
18.80 - leave the house with smile and ride the bus to home
19.30 - Arrived at the nearest bus station to home, having dinner with wife.
20.00 - walk to the nearest supermarket buying groceries.
21.00 - Arrived home, taking shower immediately. The clothes was the mix of sweat, rain, dust, and maybe some microbes from hospital.
21.15 - Turn on laptop, answering email from church member saying they were inspired by the testimony. Replying back, saying God bless.
21.30 - Talk with wife about what happen today and listen to her complain and experience of the day as well.
They said, life of a pastor is easy but it was not as easy as people thought. Often you need to put your feeling and emotion on the right time at the right place. Its tough to talk with a dying cancer patient, when the next hour you must smile and cheerfully greet a small girl for her bible study.
That is my life, that is the life of God's Hitman
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Encounter The Enemy
to be honest, i am encouraged to write this blog again thanks to my wife. As i notice she start to be "alive" again it brings energy for me to write for my own.
This whole months has been a roller coaster for two of us. Going down to MOM, ICA for her extension has been tiring both mentally and physically for two of us.
However, trough all this experience we start to realize that there is an invisible power that really doesn't like our presence here in this country. Trough all the things that happen it is difficult to say that all just a mere coincidence.
It all began when i filling up my employment pass application. Once it was rejected and i have to redo everything once again. The mission where i am working was amazed with the rejection. They said, it never happened before.
As i arrived and start my assignment, things change and soon many things this "never happened before" has become trademark of me.
i was brought to the president because of conflict with my supervisor just three days after i start to work - it never happen before
i preach for only 9 minutes and people loves it - it never happen before
and now my wife Dependant Pass cannot come out for certain reason and it also never happen before
but trough all those moments, things that are unexpected always appear. Kind Officer that with no reason extend my wife visa, bus that come on time, miracles that never happened before.
But then yesterday that invisible power really exist.
As one of the officer willingly to extend her visa, the stamp suddenly decide to refuse to roll. In those stamp for dates, they have this dates that can be changed yearly. Yesterday just before he wants to stamp that small things refuse to roll. He tried and tried, but the date dont want to move as if it refuse to extend my wife visa.
It never happened before...
This whole months has been a roller coaster for two of us. Going down to MOM, ICA for her extension has been tiring both mentally and physically for two of us.
However, trough all this experience we start to realize that there is an invisible power that really doesn't like our presence here in this country. Trough all the things that happen it is difficult to say that all just a mere coincidence.
It all began when i filling up my employment pass application. Once it was rejected and i have to redo everything once again. The mission where i am working was amazed with the rejection. They said, it never happened before.
As i arrived and start my assignment, things change and soon many things this "never happened before" has become trademark of me.
i was brought to the president because of conflict with my supervisor just three days after i start to work - it never happen before
i preach for only 9 minutes and people loves it - it never happen before
and now my wife Dependant Pass cannot come out for certain reason and it also never happen before
but trough all those moments, things that are unexpected always appear. Kind Officer that with no reason extend my wife visa, bus that come on time, miracles that never happened before.
But then yesterday that invisible power really exist.
As one of the officer willingly to extend her visa, the stamp suddenly decide to refuse to roll. In those stamp for dates, they have this dates that can be changed yearly. Yesterday just before he wants to stamp that small things refuse to roll. He tried and tried, but the date dont want to move as if it refuse to extend my wife visa.
It never happened before...
Thursday, January 29, 2009
The Miracle of Coincidence
Half of this week i spent it alone. My wife is back in Thailand to see our family there. Now i really realize the meaning of "it is not good for a man to live alone"!
On the day we left to the airport for her flight, i notice several stick outside of the house filled with nails. It looks like that this stick used to be an homemade clothes hanger that you stick it to the wall. Our neighbor seems to just dump it at the front of their flat since it was broken. A little bit annoyed, i asked Lerie "hey what do you think this stick are for? why our neighbor just put it here?" She just say "i dont know" and we left for the airport.
Now this evening i have a bible study appointment which i almost miss. Having used to be reminded to look for the key before leaving the house, i accidentally left my key in the house. As i went out from the house, i just remember that i left the key somewhere inside. I was so panicked and couldn't belief what just happen. Now like most door in HDB Apartment, the only knob for the door is inside the house. The only way to open the door from outside is with the key. There is no other way than that. All the window are tightly sealed with metal bar and since our house is at the 11th floor there is no way i can climb up trough the back door. To make the matter worse, the only spare keys that we have was with my wife in Thailand!
Just before i left the house, i stopped for a small prayer asking for God's guidance and protection for my trip this afternoon. The next second i got locked up.
All those judgmental mind blaming God start to appear in my mind. "God, how could you do this to me? I just pray few seconds ago to ask for your guidance and protection and look what happen to me?" I was so panic i couldn't sit and try to figure out how to solve this problem. I was thinking to go and sleepover at my friends house until my wife come but this sabbath i am going to preach and all my sermon material and my church dress are inside the house.
I was very discouraged so i sat at the door and pray again. "God, i dont know what happened but i need your help". I try to open the window, and push the grill but nothing move. Our window is the old style window which are sliding upward rather than side by side. I was thinking to take out some glassed any maybe by doing that i can slip trough but the grill are just too tight (that's what they made for anyway, to prevent people slip trough unless you are Harry Houdini i guess)
However as i try to flip the window, i notice that my key was a the working table beside the window. But my hand was not long enough to reach it. Most of the time, i will put the key on our bedroom and not on the working room. But somehow that day, the key "decide" to stay at my working room!
It is so close yet so far...
But then i looked to the left and saw that broken little piece of wood stuck with nails. The wood is just enough to slip trough the grill and the nail was made as the hook for clothes and for any other thing that can be hooked included a keychain ring!
Immediately i took the wood, slip it trough, and in a matter of second my house key is at my palm safe and sound.
Now if you asked an evolutionary psychologist, what the "moral" of this story they might say that it is the prove of our ancestry brain development of using tools back in the stone age. Our ancestor also looked around their environment, try to associate it with something they know before and create a new tools for survival.
If you asked an statistician, they might say that this coincidence can happen every 1/100 incident and somehow i fell into that small fraction where the chance is for me
But i am not an evolutionary physician nor mathematician. I am just a simple pastor who believe in God that are involved in every single part of my life even to help my when i am being locked up. This whole incident is just simply another miracle in my life.
How can the key was there, when it suppose to be on the other room all the times?
How can the wood are there when it supposed to be dumped?
Now i used to have skepticism regarding miracle, until i meet my father in law who always say "oh anoter mirakel" or " mirakel will hapen as long as you bilip in it" in his deep, heavy, visayas accent. Now i believe what he says is true even more.
I was complaining to God that why he let this thing happen just few seconds after i pray for protection, i didn't realize He already prepared the answer days before this incident happen.
Probably God was smiling, when i complain to my wife why this wood is here...
Now some might still feel that this is just a coincidence...okay...
just yesterday before this incident happen, i was thinking for a sermon illustration. (For those of you who ever listen to my sermon, i believe a powerful illustration is your own personal testimony and its proven true). Yet i couldnt find it...
and the theme of my sermon this sabbath will be : "God never makes a mistake when he is dealing with our life. He always gives us things at the right time and at the right place."
Another Coincidence?
On the day we left to the airport for her flight, i notice several stick outside of the house filled with nails. It looks like that this stick used to be an homemade clothes hanger that you stick it to the wall. Our neighbor seems to just dump it at the front of their flat since it was broken. A little bit annoyed, i asked Lerie "hey what do you think this stick are for? why our neighbor just put it here?" She just say "i dont know" and we left for the airport.
Now this evening i have a bible study appointment which i almost miss. Having used to be reminded to look for the key before leaving the house, i accidentally left my key in the house. As i went out from the house, i just remember that i left the key somewhere inside. I was so panicked and couldn't belief what just happen. Now like most door in HDB Apartment, the only knob for the door is inside the house. The only way to open the door from outside is with the key. There is no other way than that. All the window are tightly sealed with metal bar and since our house is at the 11th floor there is no way i can climb up trough the back door. To make the matter worse, the only spare keys that we have was with my wife in Thailand!
Just before i left the house, i stopped for a small prayer asking for God's guidance and protection for my trip this afternoon. The next second i got locked up.
All those judgmental mind blaming God start to appear in my mind. "God, how could you do this to me? I just pray few seconds ago to ask for your guidance and protection and look what happen to me?" I was so panic i couldn't sit and try to figure out how to solve this problem. I was thinking to go and sleepover at my friends house until my wife come but this sabbath i am going to preach and all my sermon material and my church dress are inside the house.
I was very discouraged so i sat at the door and pray again. "God, i dont know what happened but i need your help". I try to open the window, and push the grill but nothing move. Our window is the old style window which are sliding upward rather than side by side. I was thinking to take out some glassed any maybe by doing that i can slip trough but the grill are just too tight (that's what they made for anyway, to prevent people slip trough unless you are Harry Houdini i guess)
However as i try to flip the window, i notice that my key was a the working table beside the window. But my hand was not long enough to reach it. Most of the time, i will put the key on our bedroom and not on the working room. But somehow that day, the key "decide" to stay at my working room!
It is so close yet so far...
But then i looked to the left and saw that broken little piece of wood stuck with nails. The wood is just enough to slip trough the grill and the nail was made as the hook for clothes and for any other thing that can be hooked included a keychain ring!
Immediately i took the wood, slip it trough, and in a matter of second my house key is at my palm safe and sound.
Now if you asked an evolutionary psychologist, what the "moral" of this story they might say that it is the prove of our ancestry brain development of using tools back in the stone age. Our ancestor also looked around their environment, try to associate it with something they know before and create a new tools for survival.
If you asked an statistician, they might say that this coincidence can happen every 1/100 incident and somehow i fell into that small fraction where the chance is for me
But i am not an evolutionary physician nor mathematician. I am just a simple pastor who believe in God that are involved in every single part of my life even to help my when i am being locked up. This whole incident is just simply another miracle in my life.
How can the key was there, when it suppose to be on the other room all the times?
How can the wood are there when it supposed to be dumped?
Now i used to have skepticism regarding miracle, until i meet my father in law who always say "oh anoter mirakel" or " mirakel will hapen as long as you bilip in it" in his deep, heavy, visayas accent. Now i believe what he says is true even more.
I was complaining to God that why he let this thing happen just few seconds after i pray for protection, i didn't realize He already prepared the answer days before this incident happen.
Probably God was smiling, when i complain to my wife why this wood is here...
Now some might still feel that this is just a coincidence...okay...
just yesterday before this incident happen, i was thinking for a sermon illustration. (For those of you who ever listen to my sermon, i believe a powerful illustration is your own personal testimony and its proven true). Yet i couldnt find it...
and the theme of my sermon this sabbath will be : "God never makes a mistake when he is dealing with our life. He always gives us things at the right time and at the right place."
Another Coincidence?
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Pastor and the Insurance Salesman
One new thing i learn in Singapore, that in MRT station there will be booth with people from insurance company, or credit card company will cheerfully approach you and asked for your civil status in Singapore ( Singaporean, PR, or Work Permit Holder), your monthly income, and whether you have credit card or insurance policy already.
At first i found this people are annoying and sometimes too pushy. But as the day goes by, and since MRT is my main transportation way in Singapore i start to feel sympathy with what they are doing.
Being as an Introvert by nature, its very hard for me to stand there and greet unknown people, let alone trying to persuade them for such thing. I've been involved with ACS with their health age promotion and i always find excuse for not be the one go out and asking people for their health status by sitting behind the computer act as the operator (and i have proven myself that i am good with it)
Because of this reason, i give my respect for what this Insurance/Credit Card Salesman do everyday at the MRT station.
So that's the beginning of my journey with this Insurance Salesman
I went back from SGH that day after visiting one of my church member hospitalized there. Now since my house is at Clementi nearby the AYE Line, the closest bus to my block is bus no.97 from Harbour Front. Now since Outram Park MRT (where SGH is) and Harbour Front is just one station away i think it will be convenient to just hop in to Harbour Front and eat my lunch there as well.
As i went down to the MRT Station, there are these people try to sell an insurance policy. I've mentally prepared to say "no, i dont want now, thank you" Now prosecute me if im am bad but i often use my "proffesional status" as a pastor to avoid this kind of people. My typical reason will be "i am sorry i am a pastor and i dont really interested in money or financial policy. The way we receive salary is different with other people so i dont think your promotion is for me" Most of the time these salesman will just say thank you, or give you that "ooooh" notion, or some even asked "what is pastor"
However that day, this particular salesman answered me with something i dont expect. He said ooh, you are a pastor i am a christian too! Well, that is very typical answer, but yet i found that this man openly claim himself to be a Christian. So he asked for my phone number and i give it to him. For me, when a person claim himself to be christian somehow my mind immediately shift to "pastor mode" and say that this man is one of your flocks, you need to minister him.
And that's when the phone start to ring almost every week. This salesman, try to make an appointment with me so he can give his what so called "financial advise". So yesterday we met for the second time and he explains how good his insurance will be and how it will help me in the time of trouble.
He keeps calling me with the name "pastor" but i think he forgot to realize that we are on the different spectrum of how we see the future. For him, future is unpredictable and therefore you need to make sure that everything will be fine for your family in case something bad happen to you his Insurance policy will be the answer to that. While me, on the other side teach that our life and future is in God's hand and faith is the only insurance you need to have knowing that God never loose control of your life. One is realistic, the other idealistic.
But then the conversation become very interesting for me when he start to draw my financial scheme. He said " now Pastor Bayu. You have drawn for me your monthly expenses. Now just in case, just in case after this conversation suddenly you got struck by a car and die. How your family will sustain their life? Now, what i asked for you is just to spend an extra hundred dollar every month and we will make sure that even when something bad happen to you your family will be in a good hands." This guy really listen to his trainer during his apprentice day i guess. He really memorized all those "persuasive psychology" theory
So i said, "Ben (his name is ben), i think you need to realize that both of us work on the same field. To persuade people. you with your product of insurance, and me with salvation. All this thing are just the same thing i tell people on the pulpit or at the street. For you, you call it "financial advise" for me, i call it "evangelism". Now you told me, that if after this conversation i got hit by a car and die who will supply my family need. But maybe i need to ask you the same thing. if after this conversation it is you who got hit by a car and die, are you sure you will have eternal life?" He was quiet for a moment, and smile and he said "wow, thank you for your honesty" so i said, "i really appreciate what you have tried to do, and i am sorry if i cannot say yes to your offer but at least can i pray with you" He was shocked cos i think he didt expect that from me. I said, "as a pastor, maybe i cant give you much but one thing i can do for you is to pray and to ask God to help you in your work. You should thank God you are still working! Isnt that because of God who sustain your life? knowing that 20.000 people are expected to lose their job this year in Singapore?" He just smile, and said "thank you, should i contact you again about two months later? maybe when you already change your mind?" i smiled and said "sure you can contact me" he still trying his best...
I think that is the reason why today's world look at religion on a very skeptical way. Because we are no different than an insurance company trying to sell their product to guarantee that our future will be secured. Therefore, there must be something better, something that we as a christian need to think so our mission to tell this world about Christ will not be viewed as just another "company" trying to sell their product for your future.
This is my personal view, but i think people who claim themselves as a chrisitian should be very careful to be involved in Insurance business because like it or not it will contradict with your faith. I am not an anti-insurance man. I do believe insurance is important but you need God's wisdom to guide you.
That small conversation with Ben the insurance man, reminds me that God is really in control of life and sometimes you really need faith to see that. I am as His hitman need to see that even more.
Anyway, i told Lerie why i keep saying yes to this man's invitation to meet him. Jokingly I said, he tries to sell me his product and i try to sell my product we'll see who will win"
to be honest i want him to know and be ready because Jesus will come soon....well like it or not i am a Pastor! =) an Adventist one!
At first i found this people are annoying and sometimes too pushy. But as the day goes by, and since MRT is my main transportation way in Singapore i start to feel sympathy with what they are doing.
Being as an Introvert by nature, its very hard for me to stand there and greet unknown people, let alone trying to persuade them for such thing. I've been involved with ACS with their health age promotion and i always find excuse for not be the one go out and asking people for their health status by sitting behind the computer act as the operator (and i have proven myself that i am good with it)
Because of this reason, i give my respect for what this Insurance/Credit Card Salesman do everyday at the MRT station.
So that's the beginning of my journey with this Insurance Salesman
I went back from SGH that day after visiting one of my church member hospitalized there. Now since my house is at Clementi nearby the AYE Line, the closest bus to my block is bus no.97 from Harbour Front. Now since Outram Park MRT (where SGH is) and Harbour Front is just one station away i think it will be convenient to just hop in to Harbour Front and eat my lunch there as well.
As i went down to the MRT Station, there are these people try to sell an insurance policy. I've mentally prepared to say "no, i dont want now, thank you" Now prosecute me if im am bad but i often use my "proffesional status" as a pastor to avoid this kind of people. My typical reason will be "i am sorry i am a pastor and i dont really interested in money or financial policy. The way we receive salary is different with other people so i dont think your promotion is for me" Most of the time these salesman will just say thank you, or give you that "ooooh" notion, or some even asked "what is pastor"
However that day, this particular salesman answered me with something i dont expect. He said ooh, you are a pastor i am a christian too! Well, that is very typical answer, but yet i found that this man openly claim himself to be a Christian. So he asked for my phone number and i give it to him. For me, when a person claim himself to be christian somehow my mind immediately shift to "pastor mode" and say that this man is one of your flocks, you need to minister him.
And that's when the phone start to ring almost every week. This salesman, try to make an appointment with me so he can give his what so called "financial advise". So yesterday we met for the second time and he explains how good his insurance will be and how it will help me in the time of trouble.
He keeps calling me with the name "pastor" but i think he forgot to realize that we are on the different spectrum of how we see the future. For him, future is unpredictable and therefore you need to make sure that everything will be fine for your family in case something bad happen to you his Insurance policy will be the answer to that. While me, on the other side teach that our life and future is in God's hand and faith is the only insurance you need to have knowing that God never loose control of your life. One is realistic, the other idealistic.
But then the conversation become very interesting for me when he start to draw my financial scheme. He said " now Pastor Bayu. You have drawn for me your monthly expenses. Now just in case, just in case after this conversation suddenly you got struck by a car and die. How your family will sustain their life? Now, what i asked for you is just to spend an extra hundred dollar every month and we will make sure that even when something bad happen to you your family will be in a good hands." This guy really listen to his trainer during his apprentice day i guess. He really memorized all those "persuasive psychology" theory
So i said, "Ben (his name is ben), i think you need to realize that both of us work on the same field. To persuade people. you with your product of insurance, and me with salvation. All this thing are just the same thing i tell people on the pulpit or at the street. For you, you call it "financial advise" for me, i call it "evangelism". Now you told me, that if after this conversation i got hit by a car and die who will supply my family need. But maybe i need to ask you the same thing. if after this conversation it is you who got hit by a car and die, are you sure you will have eternal life?" He was quiet for a moment, and smile and he said "wow, thank you for your honesty" so i said, "i really appreciate what you have tried to do, and i am sorry if i cannot say yes to your offer but at least can i pray with you" He was shocked cos i think he didt expect that from me. I said, "as a pastor, maybe i cant give you much but one thing i can do for you is to pray and to ask God to help you in your work. You should thank God you are still working! Isnt that because of God who sustain your life? knowing that 20.000 people are expected to lose their job this year in Singapore?" He just smile, and said "thank you, should i contact you again about two months later? maybe when you already change your mind?" i smiled and said "sure you can contact me" he still trying his best...
I think that is the reason why today's world look at religion on a very skeptical way. Because we are no different than an insurance company trying to sell their product to guarantee that our future will be secured. Therefore, there must be something better, something that we as a christian need to think so our mission to tell this world about Christ will not be viewed as just another "company" trying to sell their product for your future.
This is my personal view, but i think people who claim themselves as a chrisitian should be very careful to be involved in Insurance business because like it or not it will contradict with your faith. I am not an anti-insurance man. I do believe insurance is important but you need God's wisdom to guide you.
That small conversation with Ben the insurance man, reminds me that God is really in control of life and sometimes you really need faith to see that. I am as His hitman need to see that even more.
Anyway, i told Lerie why i keep saying yes to this man's invitation to meet him. Jokingly I said, he tries to sell me his product and i try to sell my product we'll see who will win"
to be honest i want him to know and be ready because Jesus will come soon....well like it or not i am a Pastor! =) an Adventist one!
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Equality
Yesterday we went for a dinner in one of my friend's house. It was not only my wife and i, but also some visitor from faraway. As the dinner goes, some of these friends thew a racial jokes about a certain group of people. But then, she end it up with saying "but i do believe that all people are equal"
Now that statement sounds ambiguous to me. What does she mean by "equal"? Now dont get me wrong, but i have my own position on this equality equilibrium.
I dont belief in the term of equality that all people have the same right and status in life. That is just too abstract for me. In the real world like today, like it or not some people will just do better than other. Some people will just have more money than other, some people will just prettier than other. That is the fact of reality. Now if you ask me why, then i need to write another blog for it.
However, i belief that equality means, that those of us who are "prettier, richer, luckier" than other has the duty to treat those who are not as lucky as we are the same treatment we do to those are considered better than us. We have to look at them on the same perspective like when we look at people who are better than us. That is equality.
Equality means, we are willing to accept those who fail to reach out to our standard, and treat them as if they have reached that standard that we put.
That is equality for me...
Now that statement sounds ambiguous to me. What does she mean by "equal"? Now dont get me wrong, but i have my own position on this equality equilibrium.
I dont belief in the term of equality that all people have the same right and status in life. That is just too abstract for me. In the real world like today, like it or not some people will just do better than other. Some people will just have more money than other, some people will just prettier than other. That is the fact of reality. Now if you ask me why, then i need to write another blog for it.
However, i belief that equality means, that those of us who are "prettier, richer, luckier" than other has the duty to treat those who are not as lucky as we are the same treatment we do to those are considered better than us. We have to look at them on the same perspective like when we look at people who are better than us. That is equality.
Equality means, we are willing to accept those who fail to reach out to our standard, and treat them as if they have reached that standard that we put.
That is equality for me...
Saturday, January 3, 2009
God's Hitman
Its Saturday night and i am writing my blog...
Well yeah, i changed my templates again. I've been searching for Lilo and Stich one but couldt find it! But then "accidentally" i found this xml templates of Hitman 2 and i just fell in love with it.
As i try to view some templates, at first i found its quite ackward to have a "hitman" picture while some of my blog is talking about "God" - "Heaven" - and some other Christian jargon.
I almost tempted to change my templates, and try to find some other templates that are more "religious", and i did find some.
However, prior to writing this blog i had a conversation with my wife. About the label of "pastor" and the expectation that follows. Pastor somehow are expected to be morally perfect, physically perfect, always smile, always happy, and always available. We must wear certain dress, talk on the certain language, and behave on the certain way.
I know some of you who read this blog might not fully agree with me, so be it. But i believe that a man is a pastor, is actually beyond of his daily action. A true pastor is who they are inside. A true pastor is a man whose heart is filled with compassion for the people that God has trusted them with. A true pastor is a man who are willingly taking God's call even though they know it wont be easy. A true pastor is a man who will stick to their mission and assignment as instructed by their chief contractor.
True Pastor is a man whose heart is fully dedicated to serve his Contractor in any capacity that he has, in any portfolio he has, even in any career or uniform he wears and choose.
That is why, i think Codename 47 represent this more than a picture of a church with a man standing beside it and smile at you.
Those of you who ever play Hitman, know what kind of person Codename 47 is. This man is fully trained since young to be the greatest assasin the world ever see.
Often in his mission he needs to change his uniform and clothes to fit into the context in order to fulfill the assignment that he has been assigned to.
But more important than all of that, Codename 47 will stick to whatever mission he is assigned until that mission is complete.
I am also employed as an assasin, but not for killing human but to redeem them.
Therefore starting today, i will change the name of this Blog into God's Hitman. Yes, i am an Hitman for God. And i try to fufill that assignment by His power.
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