Jealousy and Envy

I was reminded about the tenth commandment that speaks about envy and jealousy. Thou shall not envy. This particular commandment was given to the bless nation in whom God provide His blessing. However, As I put a special thought in it. This commandment will not be imparted unless the nation of Israel are completely equal in all things. What is the point of putting such commandment into the Decalogue if all people will have the same amount of property, belonging, wife(?) and cattle? Looking at this statement, that means there are different social strata among the Israelites in the term of monetary and sociological standpoint. However, differences seems to be something that God does not consider as something to fix. But rather, differences create that unique element of a creative and intelligent God.
Where do I actually bring this discussion to? That equality cannot be defined only in a term of same level of everything. That all people should be the same in all thing, and then truths shall come. But rather we must live and be content with the blessing and providence that God has provided for all of us.
We are living in the world where that differences has come to even a more evil details. Just yesterday I encounter the discussion between two guys regarding the type of their iPhone. One is 3G and the other iPhone 4. The person who has 3G has to complains about the "lowliness" of his phone compare to the rest of the society. That incident might sound trivial, and not worth of notice. However for me, i feel the same sense of feeling often in my life. I do feel like that man who complains abot his 3G phone in some things in my life. Unless I have the most advance technology, then I am somebody. If I don't have the latest gadget, then latest car, the most advance tools of trade, somehow my value as human being will be degraded and lowered. We human being just want it more and more. Even when I notice most of that gadget just end up a decoration in our house or office. Our crave is not based on necessity, but rather feeling of security of having something better than other. We are still leading on the race. Well, I have to admit as well that I am probably are one of those people. I also want the latest, best, top, of things in life not because I really need it but it just bring sense of security more than anything. In reality, I can still do much things with all the blessing I receive and all are good enough for me. God is still too generous for such a person like me.
Envy is driven not because of what we need, but rather by what we don't have.

What is Love.

The question might sound like an oxymoron kinda question. But I do want to know? Wel it is not because of something that recently happen but rather because of the things that I see just now. Well, these couple sat on the bench, holding hand and kiss. Before anyone perceive me wrongly, please do no think that I wil come with some condemnation but the moment after they kiss and the way they look at each other was undescribeable. The way that they look at each other, that spark trust they show, what is that? How to define that?
It sounds like an emo blog but irather want to know it in a spiritual way.

Giving Thanks

We as human being seems to exist with the crave of growth and development. We want to have more, want to be the best, want to be better than others. We want to have something that uniquely ours, and when what you have is not good or convenient compare to others we often feel that life is not complete, life is not satisfying, life is not fulfilling. However, by thinking that way, we might miss the greater part of life that I call as providence. That God actually has given us the best, and often time beyond what we deserve.

Therefore, the greatest way of understanding this love and providence is by thanksgiving. We can accept and allow God to work in the beauty of His love not what we want. His blessing is always more than good enough, it's best. When we see God in that way, life become not what we always want and get but rather what we will and always receive, the love of God. I wish I can describe what is that love, but He works in a greater way beyond me. It's unique to Him.
So starting today, I am learning to count the blessing that I RECEIVE rather than things that I WANT.

And thank you God for all of that!

Journey to The Unknown

If my blog will sound like a sermon, hope it still can carry the thought of it.

This reflection come after the interesting study that i found in the book of Luke. I have to prepare a lesson and question for the coming Bible Quiz on April.

As part of the searching, i glance through the first 12 chapter of Luke. Now, this is something that i found along with my personal experience this week.

Starting from Luke 5:1-11 i encounter Jesus that immediately went through the experience of Journey to the Unknown with His disciple. He asked them to throw their nets down to the deep water. Peter immediate reaction was "i have tried the whole night!"

Despite the simple reaction of Peter, it carries some weight knowing his background and situation. Being a fisherman, he knows what he is talking about. His experience and intuition told him, it is almost impossible to get even a single fish that day.

It happens again, when John send his disciple to clarify with Jesus whether He is the true messiah or not. Instead of giving them direct and clear explanation, Jesus invites them in a journey with Him that day and let them draw their own conclusion (John 7:18-23)

Every-time Jesus was scrutinized by the Pharisees he never gives them a direct, "constructive" and straight either A or B kind of answer. But rather he allow them to learn and understand truth by reflection by asking them back. Through Parable, and reference to the Scripture, Jesus confront His enemies.

But the ultimate reflection of mine came from the story of Calming the storm:

He brought His disciple to the storm, and let them take the journey to the place they thought they know better than Jesus. The Sea. Most of them are an expert on handling ship, but yet they find themselves caught and confused and finally cry, "LORD! Save us!" How many times in my life i think i know better than Him that i should walk and handle the situation on my own, when all i have to do is to have Faith? (Luke 8:25)

As a human being, i am addicted to control as well. I have to MAKE SURE every single thing is in order. The line of the ship is correct, the boat is in good condition, and i have learned from experience what to do in the time of storm. I am too much into what i suppose to do, until i forgot WHO is inside my boat. Jesus was relaxed;so relax that when the storm come he can even still fall asleep during this violent shaking of the boat. I often asked myself why i cannot be relaxed? Why i cannot let my guard down, and keep holding and try to control all things and situation in my life? Jesus can feel relax even in the time of violent storm, but why me, who suppose to be His follower are totally the opposite when comes to storm?

This is the lesson that i have to learn and re learn. That life is always be unknown, and often God brought us to that direction. But when we realize who are inside the boat, rather than how is the boat doing we know that He is in control.

Wait

I have learned something very important today, and it is the ability to wait. This is part of my daily devotion, when i found the verse in Psalm 130:5 regarding waiting.

Now, living in the place like Singapore, waiting is something that is very hard to digest. I mean, when everything needed to be efficient, less time consuming, and with no hassle, who wants to wait?

However, probably we have asked and dictate God to work that way too. We want Him to be efficient, and fast. We want Him to work in OUR pace, and not His. Some people might deny this, but unconsciously everyone does.

I am reminded again though, that this is where Faith takes place. I am not the creator of universe, i am not there when He molds and shape the universe. I was not there to witness His mighty hands. Therefore, i have no right to say and dictate Him what to do with me.

When i learned to wait on God, it helps me to have patience with myself and others as well. It helps me to see that life is a process, and often a long one. God take pleasure in seeing His creation grow and develop, but often time we don't. Why? Probably because of our selfish nature of wanting more and wanting fast. Its all about us, and what we can get. If only all people can develop the ability to wait, and especially on the LORD.....

Reflection of Life

As i reflect on another year of my life. There has been a bad time, but plenty of a good time. God's presence is there through it all. It is such a blessing to receive a lot of kind remark, birthday greeting, and message from people that comes and was touched by me. Its a good reminder of life that it is beyond yourself, beyond what you can achieve, its beyond all of that you can ever imagine. When life is focused for the better of other, it carries the wonderful message of Love.
At the end of the day, i am happy and humbled to know that i am just a "sinner saved by grace" that is the only thing that matters, and on the same thing drives me to do what i am called to do. Some people might have achieved fame, fortune, discoveries, breakthrough, and many more. But for me, i am happy and grateful to know that i am once was lost but by His grace i was given not only second, but third, even fourth and more chance. That is good enough for me.

Love

Love can really make people went crazy and do all kind of stuff. Interesting. Only love i guess can really do this kind of stuff. But well, with the same love God is doing whatever it takes too, to make sure we are saved. Thank Be to GOD.

What is Your Priority?

I was reminded again to not be an acting Christian, but the true one.

I was reminded again that God does want to spend time with us His creation.

I was reminded again that often time, i spent the least time with God through out the day. Yet complain at the end of the day that i dont have enough time to finish all the work

I was reminded again that spending time is about priorities, and not because there is not enough time. All are given 24 hours, nothing more, nothing less. Its how you use that 24 hours that matters

I was reminded again, that life is simple. God, and Family. If we cannot spent and spare times for these two important thing, there is something needed to be fixed in me.

Nice Quote from Sabbath School

“All who are under the training of God need the quiet hour for communion with their own hearts, with nature, and with God. In them is to be revealed a life that is not in harmony with the world, its customs, or its practices; and they need to have a personal experience in obtaining a knowledge of the will of God. We must individually hear Him speaking to the heart. When every other voice is hushed, and in quietness we wait before Him, the silence of the soul makes more distinct the voice of God.”—Ellen G. White,The Ministry of Healing, p. 58.

How many of us really take times for a quiet hour? (Including me)

Serious Reflection

This trip to Penang give me a sense of reflection again what i do and why i am doing it.

Back in this conference, i was greeted by all my old classmate even some people that i dont know but seems to know me.

I met many peoples, and most of the comment "i know you from...." or "i heard you from....and (all the qualities that they claim i have and perform)" etc, etc

Some people even says, "with this kind of recognition you have, you can be easily promoted to Union, Division, or etc" some other "you will be great, and etc, etc"

Invitation for dinner, lunch, free food, free this and that flowing nicely.

There is a temptation to say that "i should aim higher" this is the time for "fly up"

For those who know what happened recently, i receive a wonderful offer that i think will give me a speedy upgrade on the term of personal career. However, i am fighting for not accepting it.

Reason given - i believe there is a great work needed to be done in this present assignment that i have. I was placed in this situation in which by faith i accept as God's direction. The work is not yet done, there is a lot of things still need to take place.

It might sounds like it is a personal ambition that i have. For those who know me, you know that is not me. It is coming from my heart as a shepherd. It is very difficult for me to go, when knowing my sheep is still sick, not well fed, not healthy enough to produce another sheep. I pray that this is what God really wants me to be and belong.

This trip to Penang gave me that inspiration again.

Self Awareness Before God

Lack of Self Awareness before God can lead us to a wrong spirituality. Many people use God to run away from God. They like to blame others for the problem that they encounter, and worse using God's name to validate that accusation. Some others, didnt realize their emotional emptiness, making God as the way to heal their pain, without ever wants to deal with the real issue. The reed of reality is just too hurting for them to accept it, so better hide in this emotional drugs call religion. That is why some, need to go to worship not for a real worship with god but for emotional high during music time, or they like sermon that will give them good feeling and self tap on the back that they are craving for.

It is something that i feel very sad. For a simple reason, this will lead them not in finding God but rather in themselves.

True Purpose of Religion

Some people use religion to make them feel good, and fill the insecurities that they feel. The do good things as a reward to themselves. When their so called "spiritual life" is considered good, they can tap their back and say i am successful! However, those thought and action cannot lead to the true joy and happiness in Christ. Probably that is why, a lot of people walk away from religion when problem and difficulties happen because they just want the Good Stuff

The Power of the Mind

I am not talking about Professor X on X-Men or those psychic supernatural spoof. But one's thinking can be very fascinating.

I've been interested in mental health field since i dont know when but for sure a long long time ago. I still remember while other kids are busy with playing with their toys, i am busy with my father's old typewrite machine writing on how to reduce stress. I took the source from some encyclopedia and my intention was to give it to my uncle who was depressed because of relationship problem.

There were times as well when i just suddenly woke up and think very deeply, about how actually minds work? and i wont be able to sleep trying to figure it out.

However as for today, being exposed to the real situation and experience its saddened me to see how one's mind can define the whole body function. I have seen how depression can bring a person to see life as meaningless and value themselves so low despite all the good things that happens in their life. How one can harm their own self just because they dont find any worth and control over their own self and the situation that affect them.

And as much as i want to help, often i felt discouraged for there are less that i can do.

But anyway, i am still fascinated

EGW on Judging Others

Pg.123

"The people partook largely of the same spirit, intruding upon the province of conscience and judging one another in matters that lay between the soul and God. It was in reference to this spirit and practice that Jesus said, “Judge not, that ye be not judged.” That is, do not set yourself up as a standard. Do not make your opinions, your views of duty, your interpretations of Scripture, a criterion for others and in your heart condemn them if they do not come up to your ideal. Do not criticize others, conjecturing as to their motives and passing judgment upon them."

Thoughts from the Mount of Blessing

How true that statement is....

Emotionally Healthy Church & Spirituality

I've been reading this book called Emotionally Healthy Church and now Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Pastor Peter Scazzero. It is a wonderful book and give me a great insight to the question, why some people can be very spiritual but on the same time still very sensitive, insecure, and angry? This book provide the balance that i didnt realize, that without emotional maturity the spiritual aspect of life no matter how strong it is will crumble.

There are plenty of part of my life that i find not yet mature. I am still insecure, and sensitive also thinking too much for things that dont even exist. Well, if you are interested in searching for a new way of living for a higher spiritual maturity, this book is a great book to read.